Stop Lying, Just Communicate.

Understanding peoples unspoken intentions has always been a strong point for me as a person. Maybe that is due to years of security work, where your primary function on a door is to scrutinize a person in mere seconds. You have to know the problems before they become one. You master the art of body language very quickly. I think that is why I have always been better at reading peoples intentions through watching and not as clearly, when I listen.

When people speak to me, I am almost always skeptical about their intentions. Do I believe most people are fine? Yes. Do I feel most people have ill intentions? No, I most certainly do not. However, I do believe that most people are self-serving and narcissistic inherently. It is a defense mechanism built into people from years of programming, and generations of dying from starvation and common colds. If you don’t look after number 1, according to our DNA, you die. Narcissism is programmed into us, and that is why it is such a “miracle” when we discover a person who isn’t.

By watching people and not listening to them, which sounds horribly narcissistic when read aloud, and a touch creepy as well, I believe you can see there true intentions. I simple glace or hand placement during conversation can tell you a world more than what is coming out of their mouths. Especially now, in the technological era, where peoples face-to-face communication skills are at an all-time low, the words they speak are often times uncomfortable, baseless banter, spoken aloud while hoping the other person will get to the point you have been dancing around. Words have subtext, and hidden meanings, body language is much more direct to intention, animalistic in nature. Also, unlike the spoken word, where trying to read intention can become so confusing, finding the meaning in a glance can be an escape, even arousing depending on who it is coming from. There is mystery in it.

Obviously, I am a lover of the written word as well. You can do so much with it. Expose so much of yourself. Be vulnerable. Even spontaneous in an odd sense. I love using the written word to explain my feelings to people, my wife especially. If I were to ramble on for 1000 words in some convoluted monologue she would hit me in the face, no doubt, and I couldn’t be upset about it. Spoken word isn’t meant for that, it is for simple and concise, any longer than that and you have lost your audience. Being able to write a letter, or even a note, you have the chance to be so clear and uninterrupted with your thought process. It allows you to be thoughtful and honest, and get across a clear message to the reader. It is the best way for men to communicate with wives and girlfriends I believe.

So maybe the idea behind this is to embrace all forms of communication, for the sake of communicating. Embrace feelings, and intentions of words. Embrace expression, no matter how personal, and profanity laced it may be. Embrace other people because even though they may only be looking out for themselves, doesn’t mean they don’t have a need for someone else in their lives. Embrace honest words, no matter how hard truths are to hear, they will make you grow none-the-less.

We need others around us, to make life worth living. So go stare silently at some strangers today, and wait for a moment to happen or maybe a restraining order if you do it wrong.

Or maybe start small, and just say hello!


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