Signing my life away.

It’s a weird thing to sign over control of your children to someone else. Especially since we are still alive and what I would consider to be capable parents, maybe even stupendous parents, if I may be so arrogant. But at 1 pm today that is what we did, the most eye-opening of all daily adulting one can do, your last will and testament.

Choosing who takes control of your children and who sells your shit is a far more difficult decision that even I gave it credit. You definitely don’t want to end up with a Count Olaf scenario so you have to carefully weigh your options? Do you choose the people who the kids would want us to? Do you choose the people who are the most financially capable of dealing with the “burden”? Do you just say fuck it and let the kids live Kevin McCallister style on their own? How can you possibly choose who can fill the void left from the death of their parents? I had and still have, no idea.

Even after signing the papers and putting the decision into motion I am still at odds. Beyond the decisions for everyone else, there is a serious consideration I had not yet taken into account, impending death! Well, maybe impending is slightly dramatic, so how about somewhat-unlikely-yet-still-thought-inducing-death? Seems about right to me. It really does make you think about how vulnerable we are, and they boys are, it’s troubling. Being a parent is the most difficult challenge I have ever taken on, and signing a will puts a lot of things into terrifying perspective.

The only way I can even begin to describe what being a parent is like would be; Being a parent is a stressful mess of emotions and decisions bookended by beautiful moments that keep us willing to commit atrocities to keep our family safe and happy. It is messy and mind-bogglingly difficult but anyone that has done it would tell you they would never un-do it. No sense can be made of it.

Being a grown-up is hard.


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